I’ve not blogged for a while as to be honest I’ve been finding everything all a bit much. Struggling with parenting guilt and finding the girls incredibly hard. Why does no one tell you that this age is the toughest?! All the support is for newborns, when actually lots of people could do with support at this time. I’m not going to lie Instagram doesn’t help as it only fuels my guilt when I see other twin parents doing things I didn’t and having babies that do things my girls don’t. Then I remind myself people are not all like me and only share the good stuff. Not the reality of this crazy ass parenting gig.
So next week I embark on the next part of this crazy cancer journey and start radiotherapy. Earlier this month I went along for my CT scan and marking up. I’m now the proud owner of three tattoos, all be it tiny ones, but yet another permanent reminder of all this shenanigans. For those reading this that are sadly on this journey as well don’t panic as they don’t hurt at all.
Due to the travelling and timings of my treatment I basically can’t make plans until the 26th April. To be quite frank it sucks. To make matters worse one of my sessions is on the twins 1st birthday. Now I know you are all thinking they won’t even remember, but I will. Their whole first year overshadowed by cancer and not having a mummy that can give 100%. Luckily their party is planned for the Saturday which is a day off treatment. That would be the party that I have got carried away with, I blame chemo ending and wanting to celebrate! Let’s just hope I’m not too tired as this is the one of the main side effects. I’m still to buy the girls their presents, I just don’t know what to get. Feel free to share your best buys or ideas.
Blog post on their party will follow.